out through the curtain

my imaginary (more than) friend.

as silence escapes
your quivering, timid lips,
my valves desist (they are rebellious).

but like the dark birds
that depart to seek refuge,
(there is none) they return to proper order.

and again, i am
at peace with myself-
with the world and with your empty reflection.

it is my red chest
(not my heart) that pains me so.
and the hired help refuses to answer my calls.

postmortem, shallow;
used to define what is left
of the shell that sits, lonely, on my dresser.

i find no answer
for the questions you don’t ask.
yet your eyes cast down, as if i disappoint.

(let’s pray that this passes.)

Thanks for the great feedback on my poetry in the last post. I decided I'll randomly put them in posts where I don't have much to talk about. Or in my photography posts where I don't want to ruin the whole artsy feeling with my cacophonous rambling.

I've sort of been really into the whole wearing pants thing. Maybe it's because I love being able to walk up stairs without flashing someone by accident. Or because I get to run and frolic around my college campus like a freak because I'm super fun. You guys are probably sick of seeing these pants and this denim shirt, but I really needed a super comfy outfit for my lazy days at school, especially since I'm participating in a play for the Filipino club I joined (even though I'm not Filipino, haha) and we need to practice dance numbers. They're having something called Battle of the Barrios, and I'm a bit nervous. It sounds like super fun though!

This'll be a super short post because I actually have an essay I should be doing (due tomorrow). I have a love-hate relationship with procrastination.

LOVELOVE, JULIA

Outfit Details:

denim shirt - Hotkiss thrifted from Buffalo Exchange

burnout white shirt - Urban Outfitters

DIY tapered cargo pants - Old Navy

brown moccasins - Minnetonka

brown belt - Anthropologie

brown bag - Urban Outfitters

the two sides of monsieur valentine

Since I'm posting this, you can probably guess that my new camera lens finally came after I broke the old ones. And I am actually quite melodramatic. But in secret. I like to write poetry. Rough, free form "poetry", if it even deserves such a grand word. I decided I should share with you guys. Because sharing is caring and I really care about you all. I mean, that definitely explains the gif I made.

The Artisan of Repair

Acknowledge my smile, return it,
Yet love is still deferred by the glass planes
Of your ribs, guarding your heart from my greedy hands.

Like a serpent’s tongue my own seeks its home,
Behind my lips that belong against yours,
That taste of fruit from the garden of Eden.

I cannot help that glutton plagues me
Of the lust and love of your throbbing pulse,
Satiate my wanton needs and my aching veins.

Desperately I cried, like the watchmaker,
Whose palpitations become erratic when he has no business,
And when he cannot fix something so simple as the cadence of his own heart.

I suppose it's a bit depressing for Valentine's Day, but can never find myself writing about the kind of romance we see in movies. It doesn't happen like that! I don't have a Valentine this year, but that's okay! I mean, today is about showing your love for people you care about and I care about my family and my friends and every single one of you that actually take time out of your day to read what I write and comment. It means so so so much to me. Especially because it lets me know that I'm not talking (typing?) to myself. That'd just make me seem more crazy than I already am.

You can thank my mother for today's ensemble. I mean, she didn't dress me, but the dress and blouse are hers. As you can tell, it's very reminiscent of the 80's era. I found this blouse a while ago and I've been saving it for Valentine's Day to wear it. It seemed appropriate! I mean, I already dress like a gaudy displaced grandma-in-a-young-adult's-body. I hope everyone enjoyed cute little cookies and candies and chocolates! And even if you don't have a Valentine, I'll be yours! ♥

LOVELOVE (seriously), JULIA.

Outfit Details:

vintage printed heart blouse - Clara Collins
vintage printed black dress - Kookai

black tights - Hue

black flats - Seychelles

New World A-Comin'

Photo courtesy of Jose Chavarry @ Flickr

Helpless like this
leader-

less like this,

heroless,

we met you: love,

warrior, hater,

coming through the files

of the forest

soft foot

to soft soil

of silence:

we met in the soiled tunnel of leaves.

New World A-Comin' by Edward Kamau Brathwaite